There are millions of books out there talking about the path to success, a fulfilled life, happiness and productivity. And while there is some truth in each of them and they carry the power to motivate, help and make change happen, they sometimes leave us behind with the impression that going for and achieving the dream life you want is a complicated mission.
That you have to be an expert in psychology, a doer by nature or gifted with some extraordinary talent and special abilities to make things happen.
Or that you need to buy an expensive course or membership in order to learn the essence and wisdom of a self-proclaimed guru. Even if the whole topic is totally about you it seems that the goal is sometimes not to encourage you to go your very own way, make mistakes along it and find out the answers by yourself. But rather to create a dependency between people looking for help, who are lacking and looking for something while the coach is ready to sell the happiness upgrade to you.
Don't get me wrong. I am a therapist myself and of course need to charge for the service I offer. But what scares me a bit is the over-population of people without proper degrees and skills to guide people in need and the vulnerable parts of our souls. There is a big market for 4 week courses that make a "certified" life couch out of everybody.
And while it is not complete rocket science to learn the theory of psychology and its treatments it needs a lot of expertise and years of practice to get to the point where you have the confidence and abilities you need in order to really accompany somebody on their journey to their own self without directing them into a certain way or offer shortcut solutions.
As a supervision the most common thing I see young therapists do is giving advice and covering their own insecurities by offering quick answers. And that it totally understandable. Wanting to reduce somebody's pain and the desire to offer quick fixes proves their empathy and ambitions to help.
Social media is offering a wide space for motivational quotes, life hacks and quick advices. And I love that about it. That is why I started creating content myself: offering some food for thought and everyday's inspiration on the go. The downside is that you might get bombarded with an overdose of advices from which it might get even hard to distinguish which one could really be helpful to you.
My plea for your and the reason I wrote this blog post is to encourage you to leave some space to yourself. To talk to yourself and stay curious for your own answers. To be your own experienced therapist and not to fall into the trap of jumping on the very first solution but to check for yourself and see what your inner wisdom is telling you about a certain topic.
Cause in the end, no matter how many books, life coaches or gurus are out there: you still remain the expert of your life. Nobody has the degree of access to your thoughts and feelings you have. And while you find some of the quick online advices we offer as therapists helpful, never forget that they are only general headlines and that the text underneath it has to be written by yourself.
I don't say it is easy, because looking inside never is. But don't let anybody tell you, that you cannot do it and that you need special and expensive treatment in order to have somebody else find the answers for you.
You do you.